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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Re: Humor
on: March 23, 2014, 05:46:00 PM
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on a porch?
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs with an empty glass?
Q: What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs against a tree?
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Re: Humor
on: March 19, 2014, 08:19:08 PM
3 guys are walking on the beach. One finds a lamp and out comes a genie. Genie gives
them each one wish.
First guy says "I wish my penis were 6 inches longer." Genie grants his wish.
Next guy says "I wish my penis were a foot longer." Genie grants his wish.
Third guy says "I wish my penis touched the ground." So the genie cut off his legs.
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Re: Humor
on: March 19, 2014, 07:50:07 PM
yeah that was a bit of a stretch
Thx to Presa for this one:
One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny piano. Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got the person.
The bartender replied that if you go into the back there is a genie that will grant one wish.
The man dashed into the the back and as the bartender said there was a genie. The man wished for 1,000,000 million bucks, but instead, got 1,000,000 ducks.
Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender
and screamed "I asked your genie for 1,000,000 bucks but i got 1,000,000 ducks.
"No duh", replied the bartender, "Do you really
think I asked for a 12 inch PIANIST
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Re: Movies/TV of interest
on: January 21, 2014, 10:26:40 PM
*puts left palm to right fist and bows deeply*
Wrote this up for elsewhere, copying and pasting here of some recent movies and quickie reviews I wrote up:
1) Drive – I cannot rave enough about how great this movie is! The retro 80’s-sounding soundtrack plus the acting (or lack of acting) of Ryan Gosling. Bryan Cranston, Ron Perlman and Albert Brooks were all awesome. It brings back the feel of the 1960’s-70’s lone tactiturn protagonist like Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson. It’s a bit slow at first, but the opening scene ‘car chase’ (if you call that a ‘car chase’ – another ‘car chase’ scene I’m reminded of was in Way of the Gun) whets your appetite, it promises you more if you stick with it. And at the critical juncture in the movie, it EXPLODES from 0 to 60 in 1 second. Like a neo-noir for me. Sequel in the works. Based on 2 books by crime fiction author James Sallis. On my To Read list.
2) Yamada - Loved it for the Thai bareknuckle scenes. It was a kick (pun intended!!) to see Buakaw.
3) Jack Reacher – not a Tom Cruise fan, but was entertained – liked it. Despite what anyone says about KFM, cool to see it in the fight scenes – change of pace from many of the fight scenes from Hollywood and Hong Kong. Did not read the books, but may read some soon. Of the fans who’ve read the books, their major criticism is that Reacher in the books is like 6’5” where Cruise is what 5’8”?
4) Oblivion – Sci-fi movie, Tom Cruise starred. Started off slowly for me, I’m not the sharpest knife in the bunch, but I saw the second plot twist coming, didn’t see the first twist though – but in hindsight, it was foreseeable. Entertaining enough, liked it. Heard slightly more positive reviews than negative. Can pass if you have no time.
5) The Thieves is on my To Watch list. A friend highly reco’d it. A Korean heist movie.
6) Man of Tai Chi – deriviative plot, but despite that, fight scenes weren’t bad – choreographed by legendary Yuen Woo-ping (Matrix, Charlie’s Angels and a whole lot more) mixes Tai Chi moves with MMA moves … Keanu Reeves directs (first-time IIRC) and co-stars. His friend, Tiger Chen, whom he met on Matrix, stars. Iko Uwais (The Raid: Redemption), wasted on a cameo role sadly. Keanu pushing 50 if not already 50, has decent moves, some high kicks were stiff. Overall watchable.
7) Ip Man: the Final Fight – Anthony Wong Chau-san stars and is one of the A-list actors in Hong Kong. Lifelong Monkey Stylist, cool to see him do some WCK moves. Movie was not really so much about the fights or Ip Man, but about TMA values. I’ve not seen Eric Tsang in an action movie. Don’t think he has done any. It’s either comedies mostly or sometimes drama. He was playing against type with nice Hung Ga moves. Can pass if you have overdosed on Ip Man movies. Speaking of Wong and Tsang, if you haven’t watched Infernal Affairs I, check it out. Scorsese’s The Departed was the remake of IMO the superior Infernal Affairs. Both Wong and Tsang were great in that also.
Ip Man: The Legend is Born – Dennis To stars. He played Sammo Hung’s student in Donnie Yen’s Ip Man 2, the one with the beanie and beard/moustache starting trouble. He is wooden, new to acting, was a wushu champ. Some nice fights. Opening fight is Sammo Hung vs Yuen Biao in blindfolded chi-sao. Ip Ching, real life son of Ip Man, played in a cameo as Leung Bik, who furthers Ip Man’s WCK knowledge. Can pass if you have overdosed on Ip Man movies.
9) The Grandmaster – directed by auteur Wong Kar Wai (Chungking Express, Ashes of Time, In the Mood for Love, Happy Together, etc)… this project has been in the works for ~10 yrs. Despite the timing of the release, Wong has announced his project ages ago. Rumored to be a 4 hour cut existing and he had to trim it down. Hope we the 4 hr cut is released as a director’s cut or something. Hoping for more fight scenes. Overall it’s a very good movie. Wong is meticulous with details in some of his shots… some of his signature arthouse touches grace the movie throughout. Unrequited love is his main theme throughout his films, and this one is no exception. Although it’s supposed to be about Ip Man, director WKW also wanted to document how various styles made its way into Hong Kong. If you can, don’t watch the confusing American version that is advertised as “Martin Scorsese Presents…” that was chopped down to 108 mins from the Chinese Cut of 130 mins (although the Chinese Cut is a little confusing, but less than the American). Cung Le had a cameo fight in the beginning of the film. Overall, good fight scenes, but choreographer Yuen Woo-ping’s (there he goes again!) were sometimes re-shot when Wong wanted to make them more dramatic. That Cung Le fight was re-shot to be a fight in the night and in the rain. Any fight film fan wants their fight scenes clear and not the usual film artifice of closeups, fast editing and shaking cameras to create the false energy. Can pass, but if you are a WKW fan, you will want to check this out. This IMO is his most commercial film.
10) Robot and Frank – was heart-warming… don’t usually watch these types of movies. Sis-in-law visited and popped the movie in. I didn’t know the plot before beginning the movie. Watched it with my children. I wasn’t sure which direction the movie was going. Glad I stuck with it until the end. Truly heart-warming. We enjoyed it. Frank Langella plays Frank.
11) Older movies I’ve watched in honor of director Lau Kar Leung after his passing:
Martial Club – young Wong Fei-hung (played by Gordon Liu aka Master Killer or Pak Mei) being tested by experienced Northern master (played by Johnny Wang Lung-wei, first and only movie he plays a ‘good guy’!) who was tricked into helping a rival southern school. No one dies, this movie like most of Lau’s films, teach the TMA values.
Drunken Monkey Kung Fu – Lau stars and directs. Monkey style! More TMA values. Lau boasted of his kung fu skills and drank to excess one night and a jealous rival master exploited the situation.
36th Chamber of Shaolin aka Master Killer – ‘nuff said.
Heroes of the East aka Shaolin vs Ninja aka Shaolin Challenges Ninja – Gordon Liu marries a Japanese bride who practices karate. Misunderstanding between husband and wife which eventually is a misunderstanding between her sensei and his associates has the 7 of them come to Hong Kong to challenge Gordon. Again, Lau Kar Leung directs (has a cameo as the drunkard ‘teaching’ Gordon drunken kung fu). Great showcase of styles – both Chinese and Japanese. And again like Lau’s other movies, TMA values (“Wude” in Mandarin, “Mo Duk” in Cantonese = Martial Morality … and no one dies. My favorite oldschool Shaw Brothers movie (yes even over 5 Venoms and Master Killer)
12) Donnie Yen’s new movie Special ID – I went to the NYC premiere of this movie and wrote about it for my site:http://www.stickgrappler.net/2013/11/i-met-donnie-yen-at-4th-annual-new-york.html
Bottom line: some good fight scenes, rottie Tian Jing, plays opposite Donnie, has some nice moves… made GIFs of some of the fight scenes, have some more GIFs which I’ll be posting soon:http://www.stickgrappler.net/2014/01/donnie-yens-special-id-gif-set-1-donnie.htmlhttp://www.stickgrappler.net/2014/01/donnie-yens-special-id-gif-set-2-donnie.htmlhttp://www.stickgrappler.net/2014/01/special-id-gif-set-3-donnie-vs-ken-lo.htmlhttp://www.stickgrappler.net/2014/01/special-id-gif-set-4-tian-jing.html
But if you are expecting Flash Point – sadly it’s not. I think every Donnie fan and Donnie himself wanted Special ID to be Flash Point or better.
13) Pacific Rim – watched it with my kids, they loved it. They DIDN’T watch Godzilla really, but know of it. Afraid to watch Godzilla with them though, as Stickgrappler Jr. (10 yrs old) – “that SFX is so cheesy dad”. And I have to go into my spiel about “when Dad was a kid, that SFX was SOTA”. He criticized Star Wars 4-6 also. LOL. Highly reco if you like the daikaiju genre of movies.
I made some GIF’s from this movie, not of the Daikaiju vs Jaegers, but of the human fight scenes – LOL at me … for anyone who likes GIF’s, please check out:
only Jaeger GIF i made... more here:http://www.stickgrappler.net/2013/10/balisong-knife-in-movies-pacific-rim.html
(some trapping and an omoplata!)
14) Turbo – a Dreamworks movie. Stereotypical animated movie. Watched with my children (15, 12, 10) – we all enjoyed it very much. Snail due to freak accident is racing in the Indianapolis 500! Themes of dream big and you can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it… well done. Highly reco if you have young children.
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Happy 47th Birthday Mike Tyson!
on: June 30, 2013, 07:41:21 PM
I made 4 animated GIF's for the occasion Mike Tyson vs Hector Mercedes - March 6, 1985
(Iron Mike's professional debut)Mike Tyson vs Trent Singleton - April 10, 1985Mike Tyson vs Donald Halpin - May 23, 1985
Mike Tyson vs Rick Spain - June 20, 1985
More to come. Enjoy!
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Re: MMA Thread
on: June 19, 2013, 11:54:28 AM
I am reminded of Joe Rogan's comment that Big Country is a light heavyweight who likes to eat. I'm thinking he could do a lot better in the LH division , , ,
I just found out he took the fight on short notice so perhaps that was a major factor
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Newsday: Matt Serra, former UFC champ, 'walking away' from MMA
on: May 22, 2013, 03:11:00 PM
Newsday: Matt Serra, former UFC champ, 'walking away' from MMA
2013-05-22 19:51:57.957 GMT
By Mark La Monica
May 22--Matt Serra felt pain while sitting in the corner
during an MMA fight. Nothing unusual for the lifelong fighter,
except for one unique distinction this time: he wasn't the one
Instead, the former UFC welterweight champion from East
Meadow was cornering one of his fighters at Ring of Combat in
Atlantic City on April 5. It was a pain that would put Serra in
the emergency room for four days, lead to the surgical removal
of one of his ribs and now, cause his exit from mixed martial
"It's hard to say it," Serra told Newsday. "It's like you
can't say it, even though it probably is true. I would love to
put closure on my career with one last fight at the Garden, but
at the same time, if that doesn't happen, I definitely consider
myself done. It's hard to say the 'R word.' I might never say
the 'R word.'"
That thrill of fight night, when the adrenaline pumps
through the veins, the fans scream and invincibility consumes
the brain and body -- putting that in the past is never easy.
Not for Serra, the only man on the planet to knock out Georges
St-Pierre in a pro fight. Not for many athletes, regardless of
"I really think I'm walking away," he said. "I'm going to
be 39, I just had my rib taken out. I'm having my third kid. My
schools are doing well. What am I doing, looking for another
pay day? It's not really for that. I mean, it doesn't stink,
but it's not really for that. Am I still trying to hold on for
the glory? Glory is a drug, dude. I'm telling you, that's the
problem. It really is. I know why guys can't walk away. I
absolutely get it."
Serra had always contemplated one more fight, but the
ordeal of the past six weeks has forced him to face a new
Serra first felt pain in his left arm after a Brazilian
Jiu-Jitsu training session at one of his academies two days
before the Ring of Combat event. He figured he had just pulled
He came home to Massapequa after the fights. The pain
never left. It intensified. Serra couldn't bend his arm. He
couldn't lift his hand to touch his neck. He got out of bed
around 2 a.m. and drove to the emergency room at Winthrop
University Hospital in Mineola. Tests revealed two blood clots
in his arm and another in his lungs.
"Then I got freaked out," Serra said. "You don't catch
that [and] after the lung, that stops your heart or your brain.
Then you're done. I'm very fortunate to, basically, be here.
Sounds kind of morbid. If I didn't catch that -- I was about to
go to bed. I'm like, man, something's not feeling right."
Serra was put on blood thinners to address the clot in his
lungs. He must now inject himself in the stomach with Lovenox,
an anticoagulant, every day for the next three months.
The clots in his arm created a significant health issue as
well. Serra's collarbone and first rib were compressing a blood
vessel and restricting blood flow, a condition known as
thoracic outlet syndrome. Serra had the first rib on his left
side removed in early May, a procedure performed by Dr. George
Hines, chief of vascular surgery at Winthrop. Hines estimated
that Winthrop does about six of these surgeries a year.
"It's like taking out the floor of the whole area," Hines
said. "You remove the rib and everything drops into place."
The procedure can take up to two hours to complete, and
patients typically return home the following day.
"They had to cut me open through my armpit and cut through
whatever they had to cut through and get my rib out," Serra
said. "It's definitely strange and I'm feeling it in there."
Doctors told Serra he would need six to eight weeks just
to recover from the rib removal. A month or so after that,
Serra is expected to no longer need to take blood thinners and
can resume active jiu-jitsu teaching and training.
"I need my jiu-jitsu, man," Serra said. "I don't need to
spar. I don't need to kickbox or box every day. Even if you see
me with some pasta, I'm still strangling and arm-locking people
at least five days a week and I need that."
Serra could not bring himself to actually say the word
"retire," but his active MMA career is essentially over. Serra
(17-7, 7-7 UFC) last fought Sept. 25, 2010, a
unanimous-decision loss to Chris Lytle at UFC 119. He turns 39
next month and doesn't want to be one of those athletes who
hangs around too long.
"An aging fighter?" Serra said. "You know, it's like an
aging stripper, but not as funny. Not a lot of people want to
The biggest moment of Serra's career also serves as one of
the greatest upsets in UFC and MMA history. On the night of
April 7, 2007, inside the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas,
Serra did the unthinkable. A 9-1 underdog, Serra took
St-Pierre's welterweight title with a first-round knockout.
St-Pierre has since credited Serra with helping him become
the fighter he is now, one who beat Serra in the rematch and
has eight straight title defenses, second best in UFC history
behind Anderson Silva's 10.
Serra earned that title shot by winning Season 4 of "The
Ultimate Fighter." That comeback season, the only one in the
show's history, featured fighters who had competed in the UFC
but never won a title.
"I know I can be beat by some of these guys, but I know I
can still knock some of these guys out and be a threat on the
ground," said Serra, the first American to earn a black belt
under Renzo Gracie. "But at the same time, it used to be that
the thing that made me happiest was the next fight. Now, I
whistle to work going to my schools. I love hanging out with my
kids, my family. That's something you never really anticipate
or understand it until you have a family. I love spending time
with my girls. I'm a very involved dad."
Serra runs successful BJJ academies in Levittown and
Huntington and recently opened a third in Bayside. He is also
working to create affiliate Serra BJJ schools across the
country, a system where those who earned their black belts
under him would open academies under the Serra BJJ flag.
Serra and his wife, Ann, have two daughters with a third
due in June. Angelina is 4, Maria is 2.
"Angelina is already arm-locking me, and I have her
teaching Maria," Serra said. "They're doing it on the teddy
bears. It's awesome."
Politics, Religion, Science, Culture and Humanities / Science, Culture, & Humanities / British Man to Get New Penis Created From Forearm Tissue
on: March 21, 2013, 02:25:59 PM
British Man to Get New Penis Created From Forearm Tissue
Born without a penis, 39-year-old Andrew Wardle will soon undergo surgery to create a functioning organ using skin and tissue from his arm.
By Erin Hicks, Everyday Health Staff Writer
WEDNESDAY, March 20, 2013 — A British man born without a penis is preparing to go under the knife in a surgery that would create a functioning penis using skin and tissue taken from his arm.
Andrew Wardle, a 39-year-old from London, was born with testicles but without a penis, and with an ectopic bladder, meaning it formed outside his body, according to The Sun.
Growing up, he had kidney problems and infections, and underwent 15 operations to build a tube from his bladder so he could urinate.
“I never thought this day would come, and I still can’t believe it is possible for me to actually have a fully functioning penis,” Wardle told The Sun.
Surgery to construct a penis has been done in the United States, but is not common, said Christopher M. Gonzalez, MD, professor of urology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill.
“There are people here [in the United States] more than capable of doing [this type of procedure]. We do a lot of reconstructive work, but we don’t see a lot of people with this type of surgery,” said Dr. Gonzalez.
How Penis Reconstruction Surgery Works
Gonzalez explained that the surgery, called a forearm free-flap procedure, involves taking a piece of tissue from the inside of the forearm, as well as the radial artery that runs along the forearm. The artery can be put in place in the area underneath the scrotum to provide blood supply, then the tissue, muscle, and skin from the forearm can be formed into a penis.
There are a few potentially serious complications from the surgery. The skin could die or the tissue could refuse to take, for example. Rarely, blood clots could occur, Gonzalez said. Some patients have permanent scars on their arm from which the tissue was taken, but for the most part there aren’t many complaints from patients about scarring, he added.
Wardle is opting for an additional surgery to build a tube from his bladder so he could urinate normally, though there are other options, said Gonzalez. One is to to create a hole under the scrotum from which a man could urinate.
Additional procedures could be done so the reconstructed penis could ejaculate, and even become erect. For ejaculation to be possible, a surgeon could form a tube inside the flap to create a urethra from the prostate, Gonzalez said.
Sex Life After Surgery?
If you’re wondering whether a person who has had penis reconstruction surgery can have an erection and be sexually intimate with a partner, the answer is yes, but it’ll take more than Viagra. While many men who have had such surgery have feeling in their reconstructed penises, the tissue that's used to form the penis — like that from the forearm — lacks erectile tissue. Therefore, having an erection would require some type of prosthesis.
“You have two options: A malleable penile prosthesis, which involves a couple of cylinders in the penis you would bend up or down when you want it to become erect, or an inflatable prosthesis that fills with saline that you could pump and then deflate when you don’t want an erection,” said Gonzalez.
Like Sex Change Surgery
The reconstructive surgery Wardle is undergoing is the same that a female would face if she wanted to become a male, said Gonzalez. “For women who want sex changes, this is what they would do,” he said.
Penis reconstruction surgery isn’t common because there aren’t many men born with Wardle’s rare condition. Other candidates for this type of surgery: Men needing construction after penile cancer, or someone who had a traumatic accident and had their penis amputated. “We see that once in a while, but it’s pretty rare,” Gonzalez said.
Wardle is an ideal patient for this type of surgery, according to Gonzalez, because he’s older and can deal with the psychological issues that come along with the surgery.
“I think he is a good index patient for something like this,” Gonzalez said. “With proper psychological counseling, I think he would certainly benefit.”
Last Updated: 03/20/2013
DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Re: MMA Thread
on: March 20, 2013, 12:01:18 AM
I got my right ulna broken by that kick in 1982 at the Kali Academy.
I liked that the fighter here was concerned for the fallen opponent; it was a very, very bad KO.
Woof Guro C,
Wow about your ulna. Powerful kick
Yeah, Uriah Hall did his celebratory thing but he didn't realize the extent of damage he caused. Once he saw he was super-concerned.