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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / New on DVD!
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on: February 18, 2005, 03:58:37 PM
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New on DVD: Attacking Blocks Combining Stick and Footwork http://dogbrothers.com/index.php?cPath=31For those awaiting their order for Krabi Krabong on DVD, we'll have stock next week. Backorders will start shipping immediately. We'll let you know when your copies are shipped. Also in the works on DVD: Kali Tudo Los Triques - Single Stick Los Triques - Double Stick Cycle Drills - Featuring Benjamin "Lonely Dog" Rittiner Our first series videos featuring Eric "Top Dog" Knaus will be released on DVD this summer. These DVDs will include "never before seen" footage. |
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104
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Humor
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on: October 21, 2004, 08:41:43 PM
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Puns for Intellectuals
1.. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
Thestewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only onecarrion per passenger."
2.. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental
purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world.
3.. Two boll weevils grew up in S Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star.
The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much--and naturally became known
as the lesser of two weevils
4.. Two Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank
the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
5.. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon,
slides up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
6.. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to
the dentist, and refused to take Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
7.. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where
they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments
The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour, and asked them to
disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
8.. A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian
family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish family and is
named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins for Pete sake! If you've seen
Juan, you've see Ahmal!"
9.. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry
payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their
business flourished. A rival florist became upset
that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from
the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. The florist
went to them and begged that they shut down. Again, they refused. Therefore,
the florist hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went
to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their
shop, and said that if they did not close, he would be back. Well, very
terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. This proved
that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
10.. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which
created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad
breath. This made him ....what? (This is so bad it's
good...)--a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
11.. Finally, ...there once was a woman who sent ten puns to some friends
in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
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110
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Dear Mom
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on: October 13, 2004, 11:30:46 AM
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A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was stonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing, it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
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115
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Humor
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on: October 08, 2004, 07:53:46 PM
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In honor of Rodney -- 21 of Dangerfield's Best One Liners:
1. I was so poor growing up . . . if I wasn't a boy . . . I'd have had nothing to play with.
2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.
3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
4. One day I came home early from work .. I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."
5. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning . . . put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
6. I was such an ugly kid . . . When I played in the sandbox; the cat kept covering me up.
7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
8. I was such an ugly baby . . . My mother never breast-fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
9. I'm so ugly . . . My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my
father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."
11. I'm so ugly . . . M y mother had morning sickness . . . AFTER I
was born.
12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me
find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
14 My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
15. I'm so ugly . . . I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking
how big I'd get.
16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up
and I look in the mirror . . . I feel like throwing up; what's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get
my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
19.Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.
20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control.
21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was
in the electric chair.
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122
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Politics, Religion, Science, Culture and Humanities / Politics & Religion / Howl of Respect to our Soldiers/Veterans
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on: July 12, 2004, 01:03:13 PM
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This statue currently stands outside the Iraqi palace, now home to the 4th Infantry division. It will eventually be shipped home and put in the memorial museum in Fort Hood, Texas. The statue was created by an Iraqi artist named Kalat, who for years was forced by Saddam Hussein to make the many hundreds of bronze busts of Saddam that dotted Baghdad. Kalat was so grateful for the Americans liberation of his country; he melted 3 of the heads of the fallen Saddam and made the statue as a memorial to the American soldiers and their fallen warriors. Kalat worked on this memorial night and day for several months. To the left of the kneeling soldier is a small Iraqi girl giving the soldier comfort as he mourns the loss of his comrade in arms.  |
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125
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Joke
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on: March 17, 2004, 05:33:06 PM
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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three glasses of Guiness, drinking them one at a time. Noticing this odd ritual, the bartender explains that the beer goes flat when poured and informs the man his beer would be much fresher if he ordered one glass at a time.
The Irishman explains he began this custom with his two brothers, who have moved to America and Australia, respectively. This is their way of remembering all the time they spent drinking together.
The man becomes a regular at the pub, well-known for always ordering three beers at once. One day he walks in and orders only two beers. Assuming the worst, a hush falls among other patrons.
When the Irishman returns to the bar to order his second round, the bartender quietly offers his condolences. The man looks confused for a moment, and then explains, "No, everyone's fine. I gave up beer for lent."
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133
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Spam question
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on: January 29, 2004, 11:08:20 PM
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Just curious if any one else out there got this Spam e-mail? If so, it's a spoof. I must admit, I kinda freaked out when I got it. I almost checked my credit card charges...but surfed the net first. Glad I did. ----- Original Message ----- From: Dark Profits Sent: Friday, January 30, 2004 3:37 AM Subject: Thank you for your order. Dear customer, We are glad to inform you, that your DarkProfits.com Sales Order has been successfully completed. Sales order number: 3445096-01.04 Customer' Number: 1333027 Amount charged: $149.95 Time of charge: Product ordered: 1 Month Child Porn Unlimited Online Access. Please note, that refunds are not available for this type of transactions. Your credit card was charged by (Link: www.darkprofits.com,)www.darkprofits.com, it will appear on your next credit card's statement. Kings regards, DarkProfits.com Sales Department. underages@darkprofits.com You can also cancel your order by phone: call us +1 877 479 7378 |
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135
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Complete Invite: DB Gathering Of The Pack - Nov 23, 2003:
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on: October 26, 2003, 08:42:52 AM
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A Howl of Greeting: The rhythm of the seasons is with us and its time-- the Sunday before Thanksgiving-- for the "Fall Dog Brothers Gathering of the Pack". On behalf of the Council of Elders of the Dog Brothers, Dog Brothers Inc. Martial Arts hereby cordially invites you to its "Dog Brothers' Winter Gathering of the Pack" at 11:00 AM on Sunday, November 23, 2003 at the RAW Gym in El Segundo (CLICK HERE FOR MAP) to conclude when the fighters are done. Many of you may remember our Gatherings held in the park in Hermosa Beach, which although they were hosted at considerable expense, were always free to you our friends, our guests. However with a private facility involved we now need to charge admission of $10. We ask that you still consider yourselves to be our friends and our guests. In this context we ask that you respect our wishes in the matter of Video. It is very simple: NO VIDEO CAMERAS, NO DUAL PURPOSE CAMERAS (i.e. with both still photo and video capabilities). THIS MATTER IS OF IMPORTANCE TO US! And, if you see someone videoing, please don't let them abuse our hospitality-please let us know. As always, you may take photographs for personal, non-commercial use PROVIDED you give us a complete set of the ones you take. Thanks to the increasing numbers of you who actually remember and bother to do this! It is very much appreciated! The Magic Words: The MAGIC WORDS: "No judges, no referees, no trophies. One rule only: Be friends at the end of the day. This means our goal is that no one spends the night in the hospital. Our goal is that everyone leaves with the IQ with which they came. No suing no one for no reason for nothing no how no way! Real Contact Stickfighting is Dangerous and only you are responsible for you. Protect yourself at all times. All copyright belongs to Dog Brothers Inc. CA law applies." This matter of accepting the risk applies to those of you in the crowd too.For example, sticks, and fights for that matter, may go flying into the crowd. Parents should consider things like this in deciding whether a child is old enough to bring along and/or deciding on from where to observe the event. For example, sitting on the heavy bags ringing the fighting area is a really risky idea for a child (or adult for that matter). If a stick or a fight comes careening your way-get out of the way! At each Gathering there is a different focus. At this one we will be encouraging people to fight 2 against 2 or 3 against 3 (or 2 against 3?) in the knife fighting. Remember that you may fight with weapons other than a stick if you can find someone willing to go against you. Please consider stick and knife fights, staff fights, and anything else. In order to more deeply explore certain elements, fighters may agree to "no grappling" rules. In staff fights, the fighters may wear wrestling type ear guards under the fencing masks. There is no charge for fighters but FIGHTERS MUST PRE-REGISTER, even if they have fought before. The Fighter's Registration form can be found on the website. If you are a member of the Dog Brothers tribe an email or phone call will suffice. For all Fighter Registration matters, please contact Cindy at Prettykitty@dogbrothers.com 310-540-6853. You are not pre-registered until your name appears on the list of registered fighters on the website!!! If you have fought before and show up without having pre-registered there will be a $20 fee. We REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don't like having to deal with this on such a busy day so please do both you and us a favor and pre-register. If you haven't fought before and you show up without having pre-registered, you will not be allowed to fight. This will be ruthlessly enforced! The rhythm of the seasons is with us and its time--the Sunday before Thanksgiving. This year it falls on November 23, 2003. "Higher Consciousness through Harder Contact" Crafty Dog Guiding Force of the Dog Brothers PS: To get in the mood, check out our 4 minute "Promo Clip" at www.dogbrothers.com We've put some work into it. ============ Those of you flying in but not familiar with Los Angeles will be glad to know that El Segundo borders LAX airport on the south-so logistics should be a snap. Those of you who like staying on the beach in Hermosa Beach at the Sea Sprite can do so, it is but 6 miles to the south-- but this option will probably require a car. For those looking to stay as close to the RAW Gym and the airport as possible, (this option does not require a car) there is some hotel contact info on the website. For info/assistance please contact VP In Charge of Reality Cindy "Pretty Kitty" Denny at 310-540-6853 Prettykitty@dogbrothers.comFor Martial matters ONLY, Marc "Crafty Dog" Denny 310-543-7521 Craftydog@dogbrothers.com---------------------------------------------------------- A Dog Brother Gathering is a place where "We the Self-Organizing Militia" (see the statute cited below) can hone our warrior skills and spirit to be ready to say "Let's roll!" should the flying fickle finger of fate reach out and touch us. Section 311 of US Code Title 10, entitled, "Militia: composition and classes" in its entirety reads as follows: (a) The militia of the United States consists of all able-bodied males at least 17 years of age and, except as provided in section 313 of title 32, under 45 years of age who are, or who have made a declaration of intention to become, citizens of the United States and of female citizens of the United States who are members of the National Guard. (b) The classes of the militia are - (1) the organized militia, which consists of the National Guard and the Naval Militia; and (2) the unorganized militia, which consists of the members of the militia who are not members of the National Guard or the Naval Militia. |
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DBMA Martial Arts Forum / Martial Arts Topics / Kali global cnfernce/BATTLE OF KALI
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on: October 07, 2003, 11:28:28 AM
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Meow "Guest?":
As one of the primary teachers of the fighting core of the Original Dog Brothers, Grand Tuhon Gaje has been amongst the few teachers whose seminars/events have been appearing on our "Recommended Seminars" page for some time now.
Grand Tuhon Gaje's posts nearby are the first news we have had of these upcoming events. As always, we will be posting these seminars on our "Recommend Seminars" page.
In the future, please feel free to inform us, and we'll proudly post them on our site!
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Dog Brothers Public Forum
