Humor/WTF

[Crafty_Dog]

If you give the command "SECURE THE BUILDING", here is what the different services would do:

The NAVY would turn out the lights and lock the doors.

The ARMY would surround the building with defensive fortifications, tanks and concertina wire.

The MARINE CORPS would assault the building, using overlapping fields of fire from all appropriate points on the perimeter.
The AIR FORCE would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy the building.

[Crafty_Dog]

Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some shotgun loads for an upcoming hunt.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks ...

"Honey, I've been thinking ... now that we are married, I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns, boat, and airplane.

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"There, for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't."

[Stickgrappler]