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Weird and/or silly
Topic: Weird and/or silly (Read 51549 times)
Stick Up turns into Demo Derby
Reply #100 on:
October 31, 2005, 04:47:37 PM »
2 drivers ram robber; suspect shoots self
Surely this wasn't how the stickup was supposed to go down.
After making off with some cash, the robber was struck five times by two vehicles - first by someone police think was the suspect's own getaway driver and four more times by another driver who appears to have been trying to intervene.
Toward the end of the strange scene, the beleaguered bandit accidentally shot himself in the leg - then got hit a fourth time by the second driver, a woman who apparently knew the victim.
Here is the scene, as painted by police Inspector Vince Flores:
At 2:45 a.m. Sunday, a 33-year-old man was standing in a parking lot near N. 14th and W. Center streets. A 29-year-old man rushed up to him, pulled a handgun and demanded cash, which the victim handed over.
Meanwhile, a pickup truck - which police think was the robber's getaway ride - screeched up in reverse, but instead of spiriting the robber away, hit both the suspect and the victim, apparently by accident.
Then the pickup bolted, leaving the robber to limp away with the cash.
That's when the woman, behind the wheel of a Lexus, put the suspect in her sights, Flores said.
The woman rammed the robber with the front of her car.
Then backed up and hit him again. And again.
After the third hit, the man reached into his pocket to pull his gun, but shot himself in the leg. That's when the woman hit the robber with her car a fourth time.
Police showed up and arrested the suspected robber, who was not identified, and sent him to the hospital.
They also nabbed another man, who may have had nothing to do with the melee but was spotted running from the scene.
The suspect was listed in critical condition Monday at Froedtert Memorial Lutheran Hospital.
The robbery victim was listed in satisfactory condition, also at Froedtert, a hospital representative said.
The woman driving the Lexus is being sought.
Weird and/or silly
Reply #101 on:
November 03, 2005, 06:09:12 PM »
Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet Thu Nov 3,12:32 PM ET
BOULDER, Colo. - Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.
Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.
"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."
The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.
Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.
The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and as they wheeled the "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.
The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.
"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."
I wonder if this counts against his limit...
Reply #102 on:
November 04, 2005, 09:30:58 AM »
This actually happened about 15 miles from where I live...
BENTONVILLE, Ark. - For 40 exhausting minutes, Wayne Goldsberry battled a buck with his bare hands in his daughter's bedroom.
Goldsberry finally subdued the five-point whitetail deer that crashed through a bedroom window at his daughter's home Friday. When it was over, blood splattered the walls and the deer lay dead on the bedroom floor, its neck broken.
Goldsberry was at his daughter's home when he heard glass breaking. He went back to check on the noise and found the deer.
"I was standing about like this peeking around the corner when the deer came out of the bedroom," said Goldsberry. The deer ran down the hall and into the master bedroom ? "jumping back and forth across the bed."
Goldsberry, about 6-feet-1 and 200 pounds, entered the bedroom to confront the deer and, after a brief struggle, emerged to tell his wife to call police. After returning to the bedroom, the fight continued. Goldsberry finally was able to grip the animal and twist its neck, killing it.
Goldsberry, sore from the struggle, dragged the dead animal out of the house.
"He got kicked several times. He was walking bowlegged for a while," Deputy Doug Gay said.
At this time of year, a buck that sees its reflection in a window often charges, believing it is fighting off a rival, Gay said.
Goldsberry had the deer butchered.
"He's in the freezer," the man said before walking to the kitchen and showing off pounds of freshly wrapped venison.
Weird and/or silly
Reply #103 on:
November 04, 2005, 12:19:22 PM »
Court: Workers' Comp Covers Hockey Player
By SONJA BARISIC, Associated Press WriterThu Nov 3, 8:04 PM ET
A former minor-league hockey player who injured his shoulder in a fight he claimed his coach told him to start is entitled to workers' compensation, a Virginia appeals court ruled.
The Virginia Court of Appeals upheld a Virginia Workers' Compensation Commission finding that "fighting is an integral part of the game of hockey" and that Ty A. Jones' injury arose in the course of his employment as an "enforcer."
Jones' former team, the Norfolk Admirals, had argued that the fight amounted to willful misconduct and that he was not entitled to workers' compensation.
L. Steven Emmert, a leading Virginia appellate attorney and hockey fan with no connection to the case, suggested the finding Tuesday was so obvious that it does not amount to much as a legal precedent.
"This court finds that fighting is an integral part of hockey," Emmert said. "Thirty million Canadians could have told you that." But he added: "Maybe clubs will be a little more careful about sending a goon ? an enforcer ? out to thunk somebody in the head."
Jones, a right-wing power forward with the Admirals, instigated a fight with an opposing player during a game in 2002. Jones said the coach told him to "go get" the player.
Jones got hurt, and an orthopedic surgeon later put six screws in his right shoulder. The athlete wore a sling for almost six months.
In 2004, Jones was awarded workers' compensation for the seven months he underwent rehabilitation. The ruling did not give a dollar amount.
Jones played for the NHL's Chicago Blackhawks in the 1998-99 season and, after leaving the Admirals, for the Florida Panthers in 2003-04. A Panthers spokesman did not immediately return a call inquiring about Jones' whereabouts.
Admirals spokesman Alan May declined to comment. The coach at the time of Jones' injury, Trent Yawney, now coaches the Blackhawks.
"No Blackhawk coach would ever intentionally send a player out to fight with someone," said Blackhawks spokesman Jim DeMaria.
Arsonist Dies in Fire Set to Cover Burglary
Reply #104 on:
November 04, 2005, 03:50:51 PM »
Police: Smoke killed suspected burglar
By LANCE BENZEL
Of The Gazette Staff
A 23-year-old man found dead in a West End home Friday likely died of smoke inhalation after setting a pair of fires in the house to conceal a burglary, police said.
Wayland Deputee Jr., of Billings, had "distinctive coins" belonging to the homeowner in his pockets when emergency crews pulled his body from the burning house at 1732 Ave. E, according to Billings Police Detective Capt. Dave Hinkel.
Police also found two bags containing "household items" in the alley, suggesting Deputee stashed the possessions before returning to light the fires, Hinkel said.
"That's the assumption we're operating under," Hinkel said.
Police had previously indicated there were signs of forced entry at the back door.
Investigators determined that Deputee started fires in the kitchen and bedroom in an apparent effort to cover his tracks. Overwhelmed by smoke, he later collapsed in a dining room. Crew crews found him there, Hinkel said.
Fire crews responded at 12:30 a.m. Friday when a neighbor spotted the flames. After firefighters tried unsuccessfully to resuscitate Deputee, he was pronounced dead.
Police said they considered the possibility that others could have been involved in the break-in but found no evidence to support that possibility.
"We leave that door open in the initial stages of an investigation," Hinkel said.
Hinkel said police are still awaiting toxicology reports from the autopsy, due in two to three weeks. They are expected to support a coroner's initial finding that smoke inhalation was the likely cause of death, Hinkel said.
Deputee, a 2001 graduate of Lodge Grass High School, had no history of felony convictions in Montana. Relatives could not be reached for comment.
The homeowner, Phil Glaspey, was on vacation in Las Vegas at the time of the fire. Attempts to reach him through family members have been unsuccessful.
News that Deputee likely acted alone came as a relief to some on the block.
"I've been on pins and needles since this happened," said Steve Geist, who lives next door on Avenue E. "When something like that happens so close, it gets to a guy."
Weird and/or silly
Reply #105 on:
November 04, 2005, 09:05:23 PM »
Dr. Fuller Torrey a research psychiatrist and leading authority on schizophrenia, has put forth a theory that an infection, Toxoplasma gondii, is a contributing cause for schizophrenia. T. gondii is transmitted to humans solely by cats.
Until the nineteenth century, most people in Europe and the U.S. thought of cats as tools of the devil. In the second half of the nineteenth century a cat craze took hold and house cats grew in number. Within twenty years of this change, the number of people admitted to psychiatric hospitals for insanity in England and the U.S. nearly tripled.
Dr. Torrey thinks that some people have faulty DNA coding that allows the T. gondii infection to act like a slow virus, like Mad Cow Disease.
Tip of the Tin Foil Hat to MIT
Reply #106 on:
November 15, 2005, 02:59:34 PM »
Tin foil hat empirical data:
Reply #107 on:
December 15, 2005, 03:20:13 PM »
MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!
Friday December 9, 2005
By Grace Green
MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!
"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.
"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "
But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.
"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."
The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.
"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.
"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.
"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.
"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.
"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."
When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.
"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.
"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.
"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."
Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.
"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.
Smart Bombs and Dumb Bastards
Reply #108 on:
January 05, 2006, 05:09:20 PM »
Don't know that this is true, and I'm not sure whether to laugh or groan.
The following directive was issued by the commanding officer of a naval installation somewhere in the Middle East, and it was obviously directed at the Marines.
To: All Commands
Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts
Ref: ComMidEastFor Inst 16134//24 K
All commanders promulgate upon receipt.
The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:
"Eat Pork Or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]
"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]
"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]
"Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English and Arabic versions]
"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs]
"Guns don't kill people. I kill people." [Both Arabic and English versions]
"Pork. The other white meat." [Arabic version]
"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]
The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.
The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:
"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range At 0800 Daily."
"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"
All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.
. . . and Suicide is Punishable by Death
Reply #109 on:
January 11, 2006, 01:34:05 AM »
From: Agence France-Presse
From correspondents in Cairo
January 11, 2006
AN Egyptian cleric's controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.
According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University's faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), "being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage".
The religious decree sparked a hot debate on the private satellite network Dream's popular religious talk show and on the front page of Al-Masri Al-Yom, Egypt's leading independent daily newspaper.
Suad Saleh, who heads the women's department of Al-Azhar's Islamic studies faculty, pleaded for "anything that can bring spouses closer to each other" and rejected the claim that nudity during intercourse could invalidate a union.
During the live televised debate, Islamic scholar Abdel Muti dismissed the fatwa: "Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy."
For his part, Al-Azhar's fatwa committee chairman Abdullah Megawar argued that married couples could see each other naked but should not look at each other's genitalia and suggested they cover up with a blanket during sex.
Latin for "Sea Sponge?"
Reply #110 on:
March 02, 2006, 05:20:53 PM »
Solo's Errant Spell-Check Causes 'Sea Sponge' Invasion
Maybe the attorney could have blamed his document's 'sea sponge' invasion on his oceanside locale -- or on SpongeBob?
Printer-friendly Email this Article Reprints & Permissions
Spell-checking on his computer is never going to be the same for Santa Cruz solo practitioner Arthur Dudley.
In an opening brief to San Francisco's 1st District Court of Appeal, a search-and-replace command by Dudley inexplicably inserted the words "sea sponge" instead of the legal term "sua sponte," which is Latin for "on its own motion."
"Spell check did not have sua sponte in it," said Dudley, who, not noticing the error, shipped the brief to court.
That left the justices reading -- and probably laughing at -- such classic statements as: "An appropriate instruction limiting the judge's criminal liability in such a prosecution must be given sea sponge explaining that certain acts or omissions by themselves are not sufficient to support a conviction."
And: "It is well settled that a trial court must instruct sea sponge on any defense, including a mistake of fact defense."
The sneaky "sea sponge" popped up at least five times.
Dudley said he didn't notice the mistake in People v. Danser, A107853, until his client -- William Danser, a former Santa Clara County Superior Court judge seeking reversal of his conviction for fixing traffic tickets -- called for an explanation.
Dudley corrected the error in his reply brief, telling the court that a "glitch" caused the weird wording and instructing that "where the phrase 'sea sponge' is found, this court should insert the phrase 'sua sponte.'"
The faux pas has made Dudley the butt of some mild ribbing around Santa Cruz. Local attorneys, he said, have started calling his unique defense the "sea sponge duty to instruct."
Mom and Popsicle Melt
Reply #111 on:
March 17, 2006, 03:10:00 PM »
Freezer failure ends couple's hopes of life after death
? Son discovers parents' bodies starting to thaw
? Cremation brings battle with courts to a halt
Angelique Chrisafis in Paris
Friday March 17, 2006
Raymond Martinot and his wife were the toast of the world cryonics movement. For years they were France's best preserved corpses, lying in a freezer in a chateau in the Loire valley, in the hope that modern science could one day bring them back to life.
But the French couple's journey into the future ended prematurely when, 22 years after his mother's body was put into cold storage, their son discovered the freezer unit had broken down and they had started to thaw.
The couple's bodies were removed from their faulty freezer and cremated this week. Under French law a corpse must be buried, cremated or formally donated to science. But the couple's son had vowed to go to the European court of human rights to be allowed to keep his frozen parents in his cellar. If he failed, supporters in Nederland, near Denver, Colorado, had offered to take them in.
Yesterday R?my Martinot said he had no choice but to cremate his parents' bodies after the technical fault had seen their temperatures rise above the constant level required of -65C (-85F).
"I realised in February that after a technical incident their temperature had risen to -20C probably for several days. The alert system [on the freezer] had not worked and I decided at that point that it was not reasonable to continue," he told Agence France Presse. "I don't feel any more bereaved today than I did when my parents died, I had already done my grieving. But I feel bitter that I could not respect my father's last wishes. Maybe the future would have shown that my father was right and that he was a pioneer."
Raymond Martinot, a doctor who once taught medicine in Paris, spent decades preparing for his demise in the belief that if he was frozen and preserved scientists would be able to bring him back to life by 2050. In the 1970s he bought a chateau near Samur in the Loire valley and began preparing a freezer unit for himself. But his wife, Monique Leroy, died first, of ovarian cancer, in 1984, and was the first to enter the intricate stainless steel freezer unit in the chateau's vaulted cellars.
She remained in the freezer for almost 20 years while Dr Martinot met his high refrigeration bills by allowing paying visitors to visit the cellar. He once told reporters that ideally he would like to open his wife's freezer every day and tell her "Hello, I'm so glad to see you", but that it was better it stayed shut. He said he opened it to check it every five years. The freezer was rigged up to a generator with an alarm to alert Dr Martinot to changes in temperature or anyone opening it.
In 2002 Dr Martinot died of a stroke, aged 84, and his son followed his orders to inject him with the same anti-coagulants and store him alongside. The French courts authorised the removal and burial of the bodies. But the couple's son held firm and the bodies remained in his freezer while he continued a legal battle in France's highest court, threatening to go to the court of human rights in Strasbourg.
Many European countries have legislation restricting the preservation of dead bodies by freezing them, so cryonics enthusiasts often turn to companies in the US where it is permitted in several states.
Ben Best, president of the Cryonics Institute in Michigan, told the Guardian he was saddened and disappointed that the Martinots' freezer had malfunctioned. "The Martinot case was extremely important for us," he said. "We think cryopreservation should not be treated as a crime. France seems to be one of the worst countries for intolerance of the different ways of dealing with people who are legally dead."
His organisation had recently taken in two preserved French corpses, including the mother of a French cryonics specialist, to get around the French legal system.
David Pegg, who runs the medical cryobiology unit at the University of York, said a temperature rise to -20C would have been "disastrous" for the Martinots' corpses. "I would say even -65C was far too high," he added.
Weird and/or silly
Reply #112 on:
March 22, 2006, 10:40:24 AM »
By DAN HERBECK, Buffalo News
News Staff Reporter
3/21/2006 Click to view larger picture
Harry Scull Jr./Buffalo News
Injured in Iraq, Army Sgt. Jason R. Lyon, a National Guardsman from Hamburg, has been declared eligible for return to combat but not qualified to deliver the mail stateside.
Click to view larger picture
While Sgt. Jason R. Lyon was serving with the Army in Iraq, he suffered a sprained ankle when he jumped off a Humvee. He also nearly had his head blown off by a roadside bomb that killed three of his friends.
After extensive medical treatment and physical therapy, military doctors have certified the Hamburg serviceman physically fit to return to combat duty in Iraq.
But the U.S. Postal Service says he is physically unfit to deliver mail.
"To me, it really seems unfair," said the National Guardsman, who was recently turned down for a postal carrier job because of the ankle injury he suffered in Baghdad in July 2004.
"The military says I can go to combat. I can march, run, fight in a war and do anything else a soldier can do. But the Postal Service says I'm not fit to deliver letters."
A frustrated Lyon, 28, spoke about his dilemma in his home Monday, showing a Buffalo News reporter his Purple Heart for wounds suffered later and a thick stack of medical reports from the Army, declaring him fully fit for military duty.
"Currently no limitations of military or civilian activity," a National Guard medical officer wrote in a report on Lyon last month.
A doctor for the Postal Service saw it differently, ruling that Lyon's ankle injury makes him unfit to be hired as a mail carrier. A physician for the Postal Service called the injury a "physical impairment" that would make it difficult for Lyon to walk or stand for long periods of time.
The decision is not meant as a personal slap at Lyon, said Karen L. Mazurkiewicz, a spokeswoman for the Western New York district of the Postal Service.
Mazurkiewicz said Lyon, who is currently unemployed, still could pursue a position as a mail clerk or custodian, and she noted that veterans do receive hiring preference.
"We have a rich history of hiring veterans, but we have to look at each candidate and make an assessment of how they would handle the physical requirements of the job," Mazurkiewicz said. "There is a lot of bending, twisting, lifting and walking on uneven surfaces for a mail carrier. . . . It is a very strenuous job."
Perhaps so, said Lyon, but no more strenuous than anything he has dealt with in 10 years with the military.
He noted that he has also worked part time for United Parcel Service, on and off, for the last five years, performing similar duties to those of a mail carrier.
Lyon, a graduate of Frontier Central High School, joined the Army in 1996. After three years on active duty, he joined the New York National Guard. He now is a member of the 101st Cavalry Reconnaissance Unit, based at the Masten Avenue Armory. He was called to duty in Iraq from December 2003 until January 2005 with the Army's 108th Infantry.
In Iraq, he suffered a minor injury that is now hurting his employment chances and a major injury that he never expects to forget.
"I twisted my ankle in Baghdad, when I jumped off a Humvee in the dark and landed in a tire rut," he said. "The Army put my ankle in a cast, and two weeks later, I was back on combat patrols. I never left the war theater. I went back to all my duties as an infantryman."
That was in July 2004. Six months later, tragedy struck the squad Lyon was leading as it drove back to its base after a long night on combat patrol in northern Baghdad.
"It had been a long night. I was just telling the guys they could put a CD in the CD player," Lyon recalled. "Then the explosion hit."
A roadside bomb tore through the heavily armored Humvee that Lyon and four other soldiers were riding in. Three of the soldiers - good friends of Lyon - were killed instantly.
"It was a professionally made explosive. It tore through the Humvee like it was a tin can," Lyon said. "I heard the explosion. The next thing I knew, I was on fire and I had blood all over me. My right ear was almost torn off. I felt terror and helplessness, but I was the sergeant, and I had to take control of the situation."
Lyon was shipped out of Iraq to Germany, and then to the United States, for months of treatment for his burns and wounds. He is now back with his National Guard unit in Buffalo. He has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, but that was not a factor cited by the Postal Service for turning down his application for postal carrier.
"Sometimes, when I am alone, I'm looking over my shoulder and feeling hyper alert," Lyon said. "But when I'm with other people, I'm fine."
The office of Rep. Brian M. Higgins, D-Buffalo, has been trying to help Lyon in his dispute but without results. On March 11, Lyon got a letter from the Postal Service, saying a doctor for the service had refused to change her medical assessment.
"It's ridiculous," said the sergeant's wife, Sarah Lyon. "He's served his country in Iraq. He's worked for UPS for years, and he's been certified to go to Iraq again, if they need him. I have absolutely no doubt he can do the job of a mail carrier."
Lyon said he wants to work as a mail carrier, rather than a clerk or custodian. He said that a mail carrier earns higher pay - about $17.80 an hour for the job he was seeking - and gets to be out in the community, working with the public.
"This is Buffalo, and there are not a lot of good jobs like that one available," Lyon said. "I'm willing to work hard, and I want a good job."
Dirty Text Message
Reply #113 on:
April 15, 2006, 07:59:43 PM »
IRAN: TEXT MESSAGE TELLS PRESIDENT HE SHOULD WASH MORE
Tehran, 14 April (AKI) - Iran's hardline president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has apparently been incensed by an anonymous text message suggesting he does not wash enough. Ahmadinejad has taken legal action over the offending text, has fired the president of a phone company and has had four people arrested and accused of colluding with the Israeli foreign intelligence service, Mossad, the anti-government website Rooz Online reports.
Poking fun at the president, the regime's senior figures and its policies, has reportedly become a national pastime in Iran. The Iranian authorities are paying particular attention to jokes comparing Iran's nuclear programme with sex. Several people are widely believed to have received court summonses for sending nuclear-related jokes, according to Rooz Online.
"While the outcome of the recent arrests in connection with SMS messaging is not clear yet, what is certain is that SMS jokes have already put some people into serious trouble," wrote Rooz Online.
The clampdown is in line with the authorities' uncompromising stance on Internet bloggers. Large numbers of the nation's estimated 70,000 to 100,000 bloggers have faced harassment or imprisonment. The regime has acknowledged monitoring text message traffic. This apparently began in the run-up to the presidential election last June.
Reply #114 on:
April 24, 2006, 04:55:56 PM »
Brothel made to remove Saudi, Iran flags
Mon Apr 24, 2:50 PM ET
A brothel in Cologne was forced to black out the flags of Saudi Arabia and Iran from a huge World Cup soccer-themed advertising banner after angry Muslims complained and threatened violence.
The 24-metre-high by 8-metre-wide (78 by 26 ft) banner displayed on the side of the building features a scantily-clad woman and the slogan: "The world as a guest of female friends," a variation on the World Cup slogan: "The world as a guest of friends."
The flags of the 32 nations taking part in the month-long soccer tournament which kicks off in June are shown below.
Those of Saudi Arabia and Iran have been covered with black paint, according to a worker at the brothel who would only give his name as Peter.
"Some people turned up and demanded that we remove the flags," Peter told Reuters. "First they were sensible but then they became threatening. The management here decided to do it so that we didn't get any more trouble."
"They didn't want these two flags to be associated with this go-go girl on the banner as it's a brothel and it offended their religious feelings," said a spokeswoman for the Cologne police.
"The owner removed the flags even though he wasn't legally obliged to as no crime had been committed."
Keeping the Public Safe One Kennedy at a Time
Reply #115 on:
May 30, 2006, 09:31:17 PM »
Public Advocate: 'Kennedy Sobriety Checkpoint' Big Success; Video Posted of Actions; Footage and Photos Available
Mon May 29, 11:00 AM ET
To: National Desk, Political Reporter
Contact: Jesse R. Binnall, 703-582-7924, or Eugene Delgaudio, 703-901-2247; Office 703-845-1808, both of Public Advocate; Web:
WASHINGTON, May 29 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Today, a non-profit group, Public Advocate, announced their "Kennedy Sobriety Checkpoint" has been a success. Checkpoints on Capitol Hill in Washington to protect citizens against Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy (D-Ma.) or Congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-R.I.) resulted in no impaired drivers named Congressman or Senator Kennedy being stopped this weekend.
"Citizen volunteers have responded to the call and we have erected checkpoints at several intersections to prevent any Kennedy from driving in an impaired manner on Capitol Hill. We selected the long Memorial Day weekend due to the increased potential for a repeat of earlier car accidents," said Eugene Delgaudio who is also President of the group.
Volunteers patrolling in front of the U.S. Capitol and in front of the Supreme Court are attempting to prevent a repeat of Kennedy-related car accidents in Washington. Due to the nature of the problem, the checkpoints are mobile units comprised of two dozen people alternating positions around the Capitol.
Volunteers wear bright orange or yellow vests, yellow construction hats, and carry traffic cones, and traffic directional signs (stop, slow down, go) and posters that identify them as the "Kennedy Sobriety Checkpoint" and with a message that states "If your name is Kennedy, Get out of the Car."
Public Advocate designed the checkpoints to raise public awareness and to discourage impaired driving by Senator Ted Kennedy or Congressman Patrick Kennedy. The ultimate goal is to ensure the roads are safe for all motorists by achieving voluntary compliance of the drinking and driving laws by all Kennedys in Congress. That was accomplished this weekend.
"Our future goal is to continue with random Kennedy Sobriety Checkpoints to continue the success we have had," said Delgaudio.
Special free video footage and photographs of the Kennedy Sobriety Checkpoint in action are posted at
Permission granted in advance to use photographs or video for any news-related or other public service or educational purpose
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Reply #116 on:
June 29, 2006, 05:41:39 PM »
Verdict Coming For "Penis Pump" Judge
Closing arguments today in exposure trial of ex-Oklahoma jurist
JUNE 29--Closing arguments are scheduled today in the trial of the former Oklahoma judge charged with indecent exposure for using a penis pump (among other really gross acts) while on the bench. Donald Thompson, 59, is facing felony counts for his alleged lewd behavior while a Creek County District Court jurist (Thompson resigned from the bench in 2004). According to a yucky probable cause affidavit, a copy of which you'll find below, Thompson exposed himself during three separate 2003 cases (two of which were murder trials). For example, on May 13, while he was presiding over State v. Kurt Arnold Vomberg (who was accused of killing his girlfriend's 21-month-old daughter), Thompson loudly pumped himself up. Two court employees told investigators that they saw Thompson (pictured in the mug shot at right) attach the suction device to his penis, while five jurors reported hearing whooshing sounds, which they thought were coming from either a bicycle pump, blood pressure cuff, or an air cushion on the judge's chair. After a search of Thompson's former courtroom and chambers yielded items that tested positive for seminal fluid, investigators secured a search warrant to obtain a DNA sample from the ex-jurist. Thompson's demise was triggered by a complaint filed against him by the Oklahoma Attorney General, who sought to oust the jurist for a variety of illicit behavior. Along with using the penis pump, Thompson also allegedly shaved and oiled his private parts, according to accounts given to state investigators by court employees. If convicted of the indecent exposure counts, Thompson could face a maximum of 10 years in prison on each charge. (7 pages)
Nanny State Imposes Medical Waiting Periods
Reply #117 on:
August 08, 2006, 03:42:05 PM »
Too successful: the hospitals forced to introduce minimum waiting times
Hospitals across the country are imposing minimum waiting times - delaying the treatment of thousands of patients.
Blessing given: Patricia Hewitt
After years of Government targets pushing them to cut waiting lists, staff are now being warned against "over-performing" by treating patients too quickly. The Sunday Telegraph has learned that at least six trusts have imposed the minimum times.
In March, Patricia Hewitt, the Secretary of State for Health, offered her apparent blessing for the minimum waiting times by announcing they would be "appropriate" in some cases. Amid fears about ?1.27 billion of NHS debts, she expressed concern that some hospitals were so productive "they actually got ahead of what the NHS could afford".
The minimum waiting times, however, dismayed Katherine Murphy, of the Patients' Association, who said last night: "This all stems from bad financial planning and management. No wonder there is a crisis. If staff are available for an operation, they should be utilised."
Andrew Lansley, the shadow health secretary, added that the minimum waiting times shed new light on the Government's target that patients should wait no longer than six months. "It is outrageous that the purpose of the Government's targets is not so much to drive down waiting times, as to impose a six-month wait."
The measures also seem certain to add to the anger that erupted last week after Ipswich Hospital in Suffolk admitted it had forfeited ?2.4 million because it treated patients too quickly, having already agreed a 122-day minimum waiting time with East Suffolk Primary Care Trust (PCT), its funding body. The hospital finished the last financial year ?16.7 million in the red.
Douglas Seaton, 60, a consultant physician who worked with the restraints of the minimum waiting times before retiring from Ipswich Hospital in June, said: "In the last year, we have seen disastrous strains. The senior managers are following political instructions. The Government is holding the reins and it is not working."
A spokesman for the hospital and the PCT insisted that no one was denied urgent treatment, adding: "This is a local issue. It doesn't have national significance."
The Sunday Telegraph has learned of five further minimum-waiting-time directives. In May, Staffordshire Moorlands PCT, which funds services at two hospitals and is more than ?5 million in the red, introduced a 19-week minimum wait for in-patients and 10 weeks for out-patients. A spokesman said: "These were the least worst cuts we could make." In March, Eastbourne Downs PCT, expected to overspend by ?7 million this year, ordered a six-month minimum wait for non-urgent operations. Also in March, it was revealed that Medway PCT, with a deficit of ?12.4 million, brought in a nine-week wait for out-patient appointments and 20 weeks for non-urgent operations.
Doctors are also resigning. One gyn?cologist said that he spent more time doing sudoku puzzles than treating patients because of the measures. Since January, West Hertfordshire NHS Trust, with a deficit of ?41 million, has used a 10-week minimum wait for routine GP referrals to hospital. Watford and Three Rivers PCT, ?13.2 million in the red, has introduced "demand management": no in-patient or day case is admitted before five months.
There is no evidence that in any of these cases, emergency treatment or cancer care was delayed.
Elsewhere, serious financial tensions are emerging between hospitals and the PCTs paying them.
In June, the Royal Bournemouth and Christchurch Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust claimed it might have to send patients back to their GPs because of insufficient funding from Bournemouth Teaching PCT. The dispute was resolved, but not before the PCT told the Health Service Journal that it was "disappointed that the Foundation Trust refused to slow the pace of its work. Much of this overperformance could have been avoided."
Sue Slipman, the director of the Foundation Trust Network, which represents all 32 existing foundation trusts and 10 trusts preparing for foundation status, warned of nine similar disputes over funding worth a total of ?28 million.
Michael Dixon, the chairman of the NHS Alliance, representing PCTs, blamed the inflexibility of the Government's Payment by Results system. "PCTs are operating with one arm tied behind their back. Whereas hospitals are able to do more operations, PCTs are unable to negotiate the rate they'll pay for the extra work because it's fixed."
Reply #118 on:
August 24, 2006, 08:51:47 PM »
No, that's not a penis pump, Mom. Really
Wed Aug 23, 4:12 PM ET
CHICAGO - Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.
Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.
When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.
He later told officials he'd lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.
He's been charged with felony disorderly conduct, said Andrew Conklin, a spokesman with the Cook County state's attorney's office.
Amin faces up to three years in prison if convicted.
Gave 'em Liberty and Death
Reply #119 on:
September 21, 2006, 04:00:56 PM »
The Times September 20, 2006
Animal activists free 15,000 farmed fish to their deaths
By Valerie Elliott, Countryside Editor
POLICE have warned fish farmers to increase their security after 15,000 halibut were released from their cages in an attack believed to have been carried out by animal rights activists.
Thousands of dead fish are being washed up along the west coast of Scotland after the raid at Kames Marine Fish Farm, near Oban. The perpetrators are thought to have attacked last week. Detectives believe that the attack could be linked to a spate of other farm attacks throughout the country. The letters ALF (Animal Liberation Front) were spray-painted near by.
The loss is estimated to have cost the fish farm at least ?500,000 as boats, cranes and offices were also vandalised. The halibut died from starvation or getting caught in seaweed. They were also being eaten by herring gulls and otters.
The fish farmer, who did not wish to be identified, said: ?They claim they liberated them into the sea but sadly, as we all know, farmed animals, whether they are fish or any animals, don?t survive unless they are looked after.
The fish farmer added: ?We farm them in a sustainable way. The welfare of the fish is at the forefront of our minds. Isn?t it better to have farmed fish than to be pillaging the seas where stocks are declining dramatically??
Fish farms in Scotland, Kent and the South West have been attacked in the past year.
Celebrity DNA in Malibu Waste Water?
Reply #120 on:
October 04, 2006, 05:01:13 PM »
Today: October 04, 2006 at 11:10:13 PDT
DNA May Implicate Malibu Stars' Toilets
By NOAKI SCHWARTZ
MALIBU, Calif. (AP) - Just whose waste is fouling the most star-studded stretch of the Southern California coast?
Los Angeles County officials intend to find out, and if the evidence leads back to the toilets of some of Hollywood's rich and famous, the sewage could really hit the fan.
"This is going to get messy," predicts Mark Pestrella, the public works official assigned to the project.
Environmentalists and health officials suspect Malibu homeowners' leaky septic tanks are allowing what gets flushed down the toilet to flow down the hills and into the Pacific Ocean. To identify the offenders, authorities intend to use DNA testing and, if necessary, get court warrants to inspect septic tanks. And that includes tanks buried in the backyards of Hollywood celebrities.
Malibu, whose spectacular seaside cliffs, canyons and beaches have attracted numerous environmentally minded celebrities over the years, including Sting and Tom Hanks, was incorporated in 1991 specifically to stop construction of a sewer line. There are an estimated 2,400 septic tanks in this city of multimillion-dollar homes strung along 25 miles of coast.
Malibu residents fiercely guard their privacy and their right to use septic tanks, and many deny their septic systems are the source of dangerous ocean bacteria levels that rise sharply after heavy rains.
Under pressure from Southern California regulators, investigators over the next few months will begin testing sea water. If DNA shows the waste is human and not from, say, raccoons or coyote, they will follow the trail up creeks that traverse neighborhoods in Malibu, where clean-water advocates such as Pierce Brosnan and Ted Danson live.
Where the tests show a concentration of human waste, inspectors will sleuth out the source. Though they will not request DNA samples from residents to match waste with its human source, they may ask a judge for authority to inspect tanks of property owners who bar them from taking samples.
"It is a big deal that the county is now saying, `We're willing to go on to properties to see what the source of fecal contamination is,'" says Mark Gold, executive director of the local environmental group Heal the Bay.
Malibu leaders have argued that the pollution comes from a wastewater treatment plant, storm runoff and bird droppings. Malibu actress and animal-rights activist Pamela Anderson contends the real polluter is animal agriculture, such as chicken farms.
"When the results of these tests come back, I'll bet that once again we'll find that it's people's meat addiction, not their septic tanks, is causing this pollution," Anderson wrote in an e-mail. "The best thing any of us can do to fight pollution is to adopt a vegetarian diet."
County officials initially will focus on properties with heavier toilet use, such as restaurants and Barbra Streisand's old estate.
In 1993, the singer donated her property to the Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy, which has held weddings, conferences and public tours at the 22-acre estate. Conservancy spokeswoman Dash Stolarz said the site has a sophisticated septic system and has not hosted a wedding in two years.
If county officials find suspect systems, they will inform the Los Angeles Water Quality Board. The board could fine homeowners or require them to upgrade their systems at an estimated cost of $30,000.
Board president H. David Nahai says he is optimistic residents will comply with the investigation. "The very cachet of Malibu and the high property values they enjoy are dependent upon a clean ocean," he says.
Most contamination happens during the winter, when heavy rains overload storm drain and sewage systems, washing waste directly into the sea. Swimming in bacterial-laden waters can cause gastrointestinal, respiratory and other illnesses.
In 1985, 12 miles of coast were closed for more than two months because of sewage. Some of the area's most famous spots, including legendary Surfrider Beach, have repeatedly received poor grades in Heal the Bay's annual beach report card.
Water quality has improved through programs mandated by the Clean Water Act and the efforts of conservation groups. A major boost came in September, when the water board announced it would fine Los Angeles County and municipalities surrounding Santa Monica Bay up to $10,000 a day if they did not meet clean water standards.
Another Reason to Avoid the Tyson "World Tour"
Reply #121 on:
October 17, 2006, 05:32:32 PM »
LET ME BASH BABES: TYSON
Post Wire Services
October 17, 2006 -- STRONGSVILLE, Ohio - Mike Tyson says he wants to get paid for beating up women.
The 40-year-old former world heavyweight champ and convicted rapist has proposed a bout against dominant female middleweight boxer Ann Wolfe, who has won 17 of her 18 professional fights, 12 by knockout.
The gender and weight mismatch could be part of "Mike Tyson's World Tour," which the washed-up pug launched last week, Tyson said.
But Russ Young, a promoter for Wolfe, said the bout will never happen.
"No state would sanction that," he said.
Re: Weird and/or silly
Reply #122 on:
October 18, 2006, 08:58:28 AM »
"The knife is your life; it can either save it or take it away"
Re: Weird and/or silly
Reply #123 on:
October 18, 2006, 10:32:52 AM »
Trivia: I am a green belt in June Rhee TKD-- after I finished school and went to DC, I went to his schools because my Fu Jow Pai teacher Sifu Paul Vizzio recommended that I work my legs and that the JR people had good legs. FWIW, JR maintains himself in truly exemplary condition.
The ad of course is to barf , , ,
Duct and Cover
Reply #124 on:
October 18, 2006, 06:27:17 PM »
Man found trapped in hotel air-conditioning duct
BY TIM CHAPMAN AND ERIKA BERAS
TIM CHAPMAN/MIAMI HERALD STAFF
TRAPPED: Miami Beach fire-rescue personnel treat Morris Winter, 40, who was found trapped today in an air-conditioning duct at the Shore Club.
It took an hour and a half for fire-rescue workers to cut through three layers of drywall to get to the man, who was, according to police, clad in a bathing suit.
Hal Lloyd Winter, 40, a Miami Beach resident, climbed up onto the roof and began crawling through the vents. He fell 30 to 40 feet and got caught on screws holding the ductwork in place, authorities said.
Hotel employees told authorities they heard his screams from the inner walls.
Miami Beach police said Winter, identified as a lawyer in the official report on the incident, claimed to have been trapped in the duct for three days, but they expressed doubts about that claim.
According to Shore Club personnel, Winter was neither a hotel employee nor a guest.
The opulent hotel last made headlines when hip-hop mogul Suge Knight was shot there at a party in 2005.
Winter was taken to the trauma center at Jackson Memorial Hospital. He suffered serious injuries to his ankles and back.
He was charged with trespassing and giving a false name.
WTH?? The banning of playing tag..
Reply #125 on:
October 19, 2006, 09:33:52 AM »
Massachusetts school bans playing tag at recess over fears of injuries, lawsuits
10:32:25 EDT Oct 18, 2006
ATTLEBORO, Mass. (AP) - Tag, you're out!
Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.
Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.
While there is no districtwide ban on contact sports during recess, local rules have been cropping up. Several school administrators around Attleboro, a city of about 45,000 residents, took aim at dodgeball a few years ago, saying it was exclusionary and dangerous.
Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., also recently banned tag during recess. A suburban Charleston, S.C., school outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.
"I think that it's unfortunate that kids' lives are micromanaged and there are social skills they'll never develop on their own," said Debbie Laferriere, who has two children at Willett, about 65 kilometres south of Boston. "Playing tag is just part of being a kid."
Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.
Might as well start putting your kids in bubble suits or send them to school with a helmet and protective gear.. geez.
"You see, it's not the blood you spill that gets you what you want, it's the blood you share. Your family, your friendships, your community, these are the most valuable things a man can have." Before Dishonor - Hatebreed
Re: Weird and/or silly
Reply #126 on:
April 09, 2007, 09:44:11 PM »
A real invisibility cloak is in our grasp: scientists
"The knife is your life; it can either save it or take it away"
Re: Weird and/or silly
Reply #127 on:
April 11, 2007, 10:12:34 PM »
I thought this video was pretty funny. Plus the kid at 45 seconds is doing kali (:
Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 07:04:04 AM by Cranewings
Re: Weird and/or silly
Reply #128 on:
April 12, 2007, 02:05:51 AM »
Cranewings et al:
Please include a brief statement of the contents of the URL and why you are posting it.
Killed by Pet Spiders and then it gets Really Sick
Reply #129 on:
August 29, 2007, 07:46:29 AM »
Creepy-crawly pets eat owner
By staff writers | August 29, 2007
A GERMAN man who lived with over 200 black widow spiders was fatally bitten by one and then eaten by his other pet creepy-crawlies.
Police found Mark Voegel, 30, in his apartment partially eaten by his pet spiders, several snakes, lizards and thousands of termites, Sun.co.uk reported.
Neighbours called police after becoming worried about the smell coming from Voegel's apartment.
Police were met by an unforgettably gruesome scene.
“It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa," a police spokesman said.
“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.
“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.
“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”
Voegel, who never invited people back to his small apartment, lived in the German city of Dortmund, Sun.co.uk reported.
Spider expert and animal cruelty officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures “that should never be allowed in a private home”.
“He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world,” she said.
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